Has your news media moratorium lifted yet? I suppose that’s a moot question since you’re reading this. Let me take this moment to thank you for venturing back into the fever swamp of news following the second worst election ever.
I know it’s not easy. I’m just as sick of the How He Won/Why She Lost analysis as you are. In fact, I’m writing this with my eyes closed just in case I veer into a Why We’re Doomed essay.
Peeking at postelection news is a painful endeavor for at least 50% of us who bothered to vote. We’re the half who hoped not to repeat the first failed Trump presidency. The other half of America will feel the hurt later, when tariffed toilet paper costs $10 a roll and lettuce is sold by the leaf because there are only 10 documented workers left in the country to pick the stuff.
Election mourners won’t find much solace in their newsfeeds, but there is something else to keep us afloat for now: the font of absurdist humor produced by a Trump presidency. It’s about the only way I’ve been able to stay engaged and remain an upright, arguably functioning human.
Just take a look at the clown car full of minions and allies that the president-elect has assembled for his top spots. Super stable personalities Space X CEO Elon Musk and entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy will head up the new Department of Government Efficiency. Their made-up roles will let them opine on how to shrink the government and the budget, until Musk decides he’s bored and it’s time for him to be president.
Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida is the nominee for attorney general, which is quite a coincidence considering that he was entangled in a sex trafficking investigation by the DOJ, the department he’ll oversee should he land the job. The probe ended with no charges being filed. He’s also been under scrutiny by the House Ethics Committee over allegations including sexual misconduct. How very on-brand for adjudicated rapist Trump.
Mike “There’s really no such thing as a Palestinian” Huckabee is nominated as ambassador to Israel. You can practically taste the sweet nectar of Middle East peace generated by that decision.
And former “Fox & Friends” co-host Pete Hegseth is the choice for secretary of Defense. The military veteran’s qualifications include regularly co-hosting Fox’s annual New Year’s Eve countdown. Who better to oversee the United States Defense Department than someone with experience counting down: “5, 4, 3, 2, …”
See how funny it all is? These are most certainly tears of laughter.
If Trump’s first term is any indicator, the next four years will be an unmitigated mess of infighting, corruption, revolving door staff, facile demands and fragile egotism. Such chaos is bad for democracy, but it does inspire wickedly funny memes, hashtags, sketches and political satire. I know, it’s not much of a consolation, but it’s something better than awful in these dark times.
Musk’s sycophantic relationship with Trump is spawning a litany of jokes across multiple media fronts. His grinning appearance in a Trump family photo taken at Mar-a-Lago on election night was weird, but made weirder by the fact that Melania was not in the picture.
CNN commentator Ana Navarro joked that Musk was assuming the title of first lady. The bromance between Musk and Trump has spawned clever memes about how long the relationship can withstand both men’s desire to be in charge.
Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel took it a step further Monday on his show, “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Musk is busy “picking out outfits for Trump to wear,” Kimmel said. “He’s been applying his bronzing cream to his face. Cute couple. Look out, Melania, Trump’s got a new squeeze named Elonia Musk.”
Musk and Kimmel have been at it since last week when the Tesla CEO called the comedian an “insufferable nonsense propaganda puppet.” “You bought Twitter,” Kimmel responded. “You bought a social media platform that is literally a propaganda machine.”
On Tuesday’s “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” the host took aim at Trump appointees such as Florida’s Sen. Marco Rubio, who was chosen for secretary of State.
Colbert pointed to years of a contentious relationship between the two men. During the 2016 primaries, Rubio made fun of Trump’s manhood: “You know what they say about men with small hands.” Trump spent years mocking Rubio’s height, referring to him as “Little Marco.”
But like most Republicans, Rubio eventually kissed the ring. “Even if you spend years insulting Donald Trump, you can get back in his good graces just by praising him,” Colbert said on his show. “Which is why I’d like to take this opportunity to say to our new president-elect…” Then Colbert looked directly into the camera and said, “Pass.”
Trump’s announcement of a newly created position, “border czar,” needs no framing. It’s standalone funny in a cartoon villain sort of way. Trump used the title during his campaign against Vice President Kamala Harris. It was meant to cast her as a commie threat, or socialist, or … something. Now he’s unironically given the name to his new appointee, former U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement head Thomas Homan.
No one knows exactly what the role entails, and given the president-elect’s volatility, it’s doubtful Homan will last long enough to show us. We do know that as head of ICE, he oversaw the separation of families who dared to cross the border in search of a safer, better life. He locked up children.
There’s nothing funny about that. I won’t forget such cruelty, but in my struggle to stay engaged, I will seek out humor as needed. Absurdity is the one thing we can depend on from a Trump administration.
