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Hello! Take off your shoes, we’re going for a walk with Luis Enrique.
Coming up:
Inside Luis Enrique’s Mind: What documentary taught us about human side of management
Immediate post-match interviews are a pet hate of coaches everywhere. They catch them at their worst, when the air is hot, the hackles are up and adrenaline tempts them to speak in haste. A large share of disciplinary fines are incurred in those exchanges.
It’s a reason why the public’s perception of them is reductive, derived from the procession between technical areas and press conferences. Neither allows a manager to drop their guard, so it’s not hard to warm to a documentary such as the behind-the-curtains peek at Luis Enrique currently showing in Spain.
The TV portrait of the Paris Saint-Germain manager is called No Teneis Ni **** Idea (Spanish for You Don’t have a F***ing Clue), something every football writer has been told at least once. It’s fascinating to hear Luis Enrique say he finds his media duties so irritating that he would take a pay cut to avoid them, because the documentary exposure is flattering for him. Watch it and try not to love him.
But that’s the point. The agreed nature of the intrusion allows him to be himself, and Luis Enrique laid bare is a bit of a hero. Tomas Hill Lopez-Menchero sat through every minute for The Athletic, and the pay-off line in his review is a lesson for all of us.
Lessons from Michael Jordan
No Teneis Ni **** Idea was produced by broadcaster Movistar and it covers Luis Enrique’s first season at PSG, 2023-24.
As ever with a series like this, it’s the quirks I like: the former Barcelona and Real Madrid midfielder explaining why he doesn’t drink milk (the explanation is weird, but each to their own) and why he likes to walk around PSG’s training pitches in bare feet (above).
But most gripping is an exchange between him and Kylian Mbappe, before Mbappe left for Real, which occurs in a video-analysis room. Luis Enrique is criticising Mbappe’s defensive work. He tells him he knows Mbappe idolises Michael Jordan.
“Michael Jordan grabbed all his team-mates’ balls and defended like a son of a b****,” Luis Enrique shouts. You’re not him, in other words. Mbappe, to be honest, looks unimpressed but I’m halfway through Michael Jordan: The Life by Roland Lazenby, and if Mbappe hasn’t read it, he should. Luis Enrique is right. He’s not about to sugarcoat his words.
Daughter’s death
Luis Enqrique’s daughter, Xana, died when she was nine. She had cancer. He talks about her intimately and describes himself as “lucky… because our daughter lived nine marvellous years with us.”
He says he’s never cried over a game of football, since games of football aren’t life and death. In the same way, he proves that managers are more than constructs of their trade too. It’s the sport’s human side — and too often ignored.
News Round-Up
(Michael Regan/Getty Images)
Tuchel Talk: First impressions of England’s new manager
(Michael Regan – The FA/The FA via Getty Images)
With his contract signed, Thomas Tuchel held his first press conference as England manager at Wembley yesterday. The deal with the FA runs for 18 months, to the end of the 2026 World Cup. It’s short but, like Mauricio Pochettino and the USMNT, it makes sense — 2026 will be a good time to take stock.
After listening to Tuchel speak, we dissected his comments on The Athletic FC podcast. These were my main takeaways:
- He was smooth and relaxed and, after his spell in charge of Chelsea, you could tell he’s dealt with the England media before. The familiarity won’t hurt, and nor will his very strong grasp of English. Communication is so important in this job.
- He coped well with the matter of whether England should be managed by an English coach, accepting that point of view but avoiding being too apologetic about it. “I’m sorry I have a German passport,” he quipped.
- All sides seem happy with Tuchel and his staff starting work on January 1, rather than right now.
- The FA’s chief executive, Mark Bullingham, would not be drawn at all on whether it disappointed the governing body that they had to go foreign. The bottom line in his eyes: Tuchel is world-class.
- “Will you sing the national anthem?” There’s no escaping that question and Tuchel said he was undecided. As a culture war, it’s tiresome and, in reality, after his first game, everybody will get bored of it. The choice should be his.
One of the funnier moments was Tuchel joking about his 18-month deal, and conceding that most of his club roles have gone up in smoke in that timeframe. But as badly wrong as his last role at Bayern Munich went, the more I read about it, the more I see mitigation in the politics and friction around him. He wasn’t blameless but the environment wasn’t fertile either. England, in contrast, are nicely set up. I’m quietly optimistic.
Precious Bronze: England star’s brilliant all-round game — in her own words
Defenders rarely win the Ballon d’Or. Goalkeepers even less so, but defenders are victims of the way in which attacking flair seduces a voting panel. Lucy Bronze finishing second behind Megan Rapinoe in 2019 was no disgrace at all.
Over the years, Bronze has been my favourite women’s player to watch. Now at Chelsea (who have a Champions League tie ahead of them at FC Twente later), Michael Cox went to meet her for an analytical look at her career. These ‘My game in my words’ features are ace.
One thing the interview demonstrates is how versatile Bronze can be; which is to say, she’s excellent at pretty much everything. She’s a danger at set pieces, scoring this vital goal in England’s Euro 2022 semi-final win over Sweden…
…but super slick in open play, highlighted by her assist against Brazil in the 2023 Finalissima (a clash between the winners of the women’s Euros and Copa America). Bronze turns 33 this month so she won’t be around forever. Enjoy her while you can.
Catch a match
(UK times and schedule only) Women’s Champions League: Galatasaray v Roma, 5.45pm — DAZN; Real Madrid vs Celtic, 5.45pm — DAZN; FC Twente vs Chelsea, 8pm — DAZN; Wolfsburg vs Lyon, 8pm — DAZN.
Show Viz: Manchester United: Beware of Bryan Mbeumo
The Premier League’s top scorer? Ivan Drago’s stunt double, obviously. And it’s no shock to see Cole Palmer on his tail. But alongside Palmer with six goals is a name I didn’t anticipate: Brentford’s Bryan Mbeumo.
The 25-year-old stepped up when Brentford needed him to. The club lost Ivan Toney to Saudi Arabia in the last window. Yoane Wissa is injured and out for a couple of months. As a result, Mbeumo is not far off the main man up front — and for the first time in the Premier League, he’s firing big time.
The graph above shows how since the start of the 2021-22 season, Mbeumo’s expected-goals figure (xG, displayed by the red line) has compared to his actual goals figure (displayed in blue). It’s obvious to the naked eye that consistently, he’s fallen short of scoring as often as he should — until this season, where he’s dramatically outperforming his xG.
Some caution is prudent because it’s early days, but he’s hitting his peak years and I’d be interested to know whether his form is making bigger sides take note. It’s Manchester United away on Saturday and Erik ten Hag won’t need telling that when Brentford rattled United 4-0 in 2022, Mbeumo rounded off the win. He loves an early goal too. Look out.
Around The Athletic FC
Ask Phil (and Football Cliches)
TAFC subscriber Dan G sparked up an age-old topic of discussion: “What qualifies a player as truly world class?”
My own definition: somebody who any club on the planet would crawl over broken glass to sign. But I deferred a definitive answer to The Athletic’s Adam Hurrey, or Football Cliches, to give him his professional title. Cliches is the bee’s knees when it comes to the language of football:
“The problem with defining ‘world class’ lies not in the term itself but in how lazily it’s come to be used. The existence of a ‘world class’ implies some sort of intricate pyramid system of footballing class… but there isn’t one.
“As a result, ‘world class’ has become a far broader category than it should ever have been. What we need is a new ‘continental class’ for the sub-elite operators, leaving ‘world class’ to be defined by something more clear-cut: that is, being nominated for the Ballon d’Or, an honour bestowed upon just 30 men and 30 women in 2024. Job done.”
(Top picture: Bradley Collyer/PA Images via Getty Images)
